everyone is single if you try hard enough
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
