he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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