obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
