billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
