He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
