but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize