you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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