i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize