We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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