What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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