What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
