Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
