Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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