some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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