Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
