so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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