i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
