I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
