My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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