well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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