I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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