I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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