so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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