so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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