so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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