the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The uberlube is also flammable
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
