Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
