I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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