Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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