pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
