Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize