Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
