Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize