fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
