its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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