I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
