I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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