Whatcha textin bout Willis?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
