At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
