I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
