"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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