period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
