k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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