look no pants
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize