dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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