so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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