Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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