I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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