they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
