she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
