I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
