Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
