Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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