I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
