Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
