Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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