And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
