GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
