You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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