So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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