She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
