so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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