Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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