i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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