My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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