Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
