Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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