Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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