Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
