He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
