The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize