There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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