I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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