Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
