Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We're using joints as your birthday candles
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
