Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
