Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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