I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
