You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just high enough for therapy.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
